Year 3: Runner’s Daygame Message

I started approaching in August 2017. I’ve been at this thing called Daygame for 3 years. It’s been a great experience, and I’m excited for the next few years.

TLDR

  • Gray man anonymity is important to me. Fuck you Twitter.
  • Do 5 approaches a day to climb the daygame learning curve. Be creative or wait until after Covid-19 passes to make progress.
  • 1 in 10 is a fine yield of numbers to approaches.
  • Daygame can be a strong signal of positive psychological feedback, much better than the noisy signal of online game or night game.

Gray Man

I’ve been purposely vague about myself on this blog and on my Twitter account. I have a lot of good things going for me – and I could probably handle getting doxxed or even being public about it, but I just don’t want to spend the energy to deal with that. Especially with the weird political energy going on in the US right now. Not everyone has studied information theory, but if you know someone’s zip code, birthday, and gender, you have enough information to have a good chance of identifying them. Readers know my city and my gender which is about 10 bits of information vs the 33 bits of information. Thankfully NYC has a lot of zip codes. I have been careful to not reveal my age or too much information about my career and have been operating in the style of gray man.

Also, use a burner phone for Twitter and no email. I don’t think my contact page, if it exists, even works on this website and I don’t care.

As part of trying to stay under the radar, I don’t want to sell anything online, I don’t want to teach game (it is a truly thankless job), and I claim to want to stick to trusted networks and avoid too much contact with daygamers (and even more so the various flavors of wannabe daygamers online and their weird energy, and the people who do other types of game and have highly variable opinions about daygame) though in practice I am curious about people and pretty open to meeting new people. I do have a strict rule that I must see someone approach at least once to continue hanging out with them; it’s a good filter. Vibe also matters. I prefer to meet up with people that are referrals of people I have met, or people that I encounter on the street (because they are actually approaching!). I met @RoyWalkerPUA and @ThomasCrownPUA via introductions from @DaysofGame_com. I spotted @DaygameBreeze on the street when he approached and number closed a girl I was about to approach (she was hot) and he approached me when I was out with @MrVDaygame (who @DaysOfGame_com encouraged me to meet up with, and I’m glad he did). I hope to possibly one day meet up with @seven_dg, Xants, @gringodaygame, @YuriODaygame, FSU Daygame and @LeeChoDaygame if we are in the same Eastern European country.

Someone said it’s important to share your age so others can compare and evaluate one’s results better. I understand that point, but I don’t think sharing my age will help that much relative to my other goal for this blog, which was/is to provide an example of what the daygame journey is and figuring out a repeatable process for learning it, regardless of age. Speaking of which, I am between 18 and 52, the prime ages to be doing daygame. Anyway, I started this blog because this Daygame thing was starting to work, but there was no real prescription for how to train up in daygame. Krauser’s memoirs (which I have not yet read and I admit I totally judged them by their ridiculously tasteless titles and covers) all struck me as more an attempt to model himself after Casanova than being useful for learning. @DaysOfGame_com is reading them now, and is reporting good things, so I probably should read them.

My Most Important Lesson to Share

After 3 years, the most valuable thing I have to say is: if you want to learn daygame, to regularly improve, you need to approach an average of 5 girls per day (150 per month). This is hard to do in Covid times, so consider developing yourself in other ways, like developing a hobby, getting in shape, reading books, and starting side hustle businesses instead and attacking the daygame learning curve later. You’re not going to get much better at 1/day and you’re spamming if you’re approaching 20-30 per day (and probably a super spreader in Covid times). My unsolicited advice, if you must approach, go to grocery stores and talk to girls about their masks or lack thereof. Other minor conclusions I came to on my own: I determined that Europe is, in fact, easier than NYC. I was doing some seriously stupid shit on dates. I declared myself an intermediate daygamer (which I arbitrarily defined for myself as 1 close in 90 approaches regularly for 3 months in a row) which is a silly declarative award that’s entirely in my head. But I earned it by myself, from myself, for myself for getting real results that I am pleased with. I’m sure there are many guys who have better stats than I, but I’m now competitive enough to truly have a chance against other men for the girls I like, and to get the quality I want. To the extent it is competitive, it is now mostly competition with myself, just like running on a track.

On Yield

One formative experience was at one point on Twitter revealing my early stats of approximately 1 close in 500 approaches and having none other than @jimmy_jambone (one of Krauser’s better known associates) and @BodiPUA (one of Krauser’s lesser known associates) pile on and both tell me to quit with varying levels of politeness communicating that perhaps daygame wasn’t for me. I didn’t like to hear that. I dismissed Bodi outright as I didn’t think my journey was going to be as dark as his was rumored to be, and in some sense I was flattered that Jimmy commented, but also chose to ignore his comment, as discouraging as it might have been, because I was making progress after all. I wasn’t putting up huge numbers, but I was getting high quality. Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I think I wasted my first year by not approaching enough. Then things picked up when I figured out the right amount of volume and started approaching an average of 5 girls per day.

Some other guy on Twitter selling a daygame book whose name I don’t remember also said I should be getting 1 number in 5 approaches and proceeded to dole out opinions presumably to bolster his authority and sell whatever is in his book. If you know who I’m talking about, ignore that guy, I can’t even remember who he is. I was getting (and continue to get) 1 in 10 pretty consistently. Game is harder for every 5 years of age gap according to Krauser, so maybe I was going for a bigger *yet legal* age gap, or maybe I was hitting on hotter girls (we actually do have 9s walking around in NYC and I approach them sometimes) or maybe girls in New York city just reject men more than anywhere else (a @MrVDaygame theory that has yet to be disproven). If you’re reading this 1 in 10 is fine. 1 in 5 is great. No one is 100% and I also don’t know anyone that is so terrible they get 1 in 100. I’m getting a decent yield so I’m pretty happy, and if your stats are better than mine, good for you, I didn’t ask.

Daygame: Positive Feedback Conditioning

One other comment I want to make after 3 years of this is that the psychological conditioning from positive feedback received during daygame made me a better man. I had done some night game and online game before starting daygame and done OK (I’m neither tall nor short, average looking, was in decent shape, have a career and some job skills, dressed well enough, interesting hobbies) but it was inconsistent. Feedback from girls online and in night game was so variable and the quality was also so variable the message your brain gets is really noisy and doesn’t really help to build your confidence.

Daygame was hard but when it started to work for me, I knew I was going to be OK. For one thing, even girls who weren’t available loved that I approached them and often gave me compliments and thanked me for approaching. That was extremely positive feedback. When I got a number from an 18 year old fashion model (in my 2nd month of doing daygame) I got pretty excited (even though it died quickly after a few text exchanges). When I started to get those numbers and dates of girls that I chose to approach because I found them attractive, it gave me a huge burst of confidence, knowing that I could go out on the street and *eventually* find a girl I wanted to seduce and possibly date. That positive feedback a guy earns from daygame is a strong signal, namely approaching, getting compliments, getting numbers, getting dates and closing is extremely positive psychological feedback and that fuels the psychological growth that makes us more confident. That confidence led me to get into better shape, to dress even better, to make better career choices to improve my lifestyle. The positive feedback loop spirals ever upward. Deeper social and psychological changes happened too: as I improved my game my enforcement of my personal boundaries improved (having choice with women helps develop this), which positively reinforced my frame and my confidence, and that all really helps in dealing with friends, family, business contacts and negotiations, and of course girls.

4 thoughts on “Year 3: Runner’s Daygame Message

  1. Great to hear the positivity from your post. I remember the comments you were getting a few months ago when you published your stats and I’m sure they were difficult to take. I’m not a huge fan of stats because they don’t tell the whole picture. Getting blownout and having a technically perfect set with a hot girl are measured the same way but are experienced very differently. I’ve had approaches that didn’t even result in a number that made me feel euphoric for days because “I was able to attract that girl”.

    I’ve done about 400 approaches myself and have only had 2 lays, neither of them younger than me. But just like you, I’ve had several positive reference experiences with the kind of girls I got into game for despite my shitty skills. I don’t know when but I get the feeling that if I keep plugging along and applying myself, I’m going to get the girls I really want. 1 in 90 in NYC is nothing to be ashamed of; Krauser was getting 1 in 50 in London during his prime. Plus it seems like your going after 7s and above so the lays must be awesome. I’d take 1/90 for 7+ thank you very much!

  2. Great post, man.

    > After 3 years, the most valuable thing I have to say is: if you want to learn daygame, to regularly improve, you need to approach an average of 5 girls per day (150 per month).

    I think this is about exactly right. I worked harder than this, and I needed to, but not every man will. I am at about this pace now, and it’s solid. Feels slow compared to what I would do on a game trip, but for now… feels like a great pace, and I have some signs of action at this pace.

    150 a month. I once heard Dj Fuji advise 25/week (100 per month). And the LDM school wanted you to do 50/week (200 per month). Anywhere in that range is enough to get some consistent feedback, smooth out your game, and possibly build some kind of momentum.

    It’s a great standard.

    > you’re spamming if you’re approaching 20-30 per day

    Here I will argue a little.

    20+ per day in a proper big city is totally doable. I only had a few days that high in SF, but SF is barely a “big city.” In NYC, on 5th Avenue, over 3 hours… easily done, no spamming required. In Tokyo, where the sets are short (due to low language compatibility) and the foot traffic is remarkably high… I have done 30+ day after day, and it was glorious. I miss it. Taking 4-6 leads a day (on 30+ approaches), sent me into areas of Game I have never seen before/since.

    The issue is… at “5 a day,” if you have a bad streak, you might come away with zero momentum. Whereas if if you’d done a “6th approach” you increased your chances of a “hit” by 20%, right? And if that happened to turn into a lead, that lead might sustain you through an otherwise unlucky period.

    If you bump it up to 10/day… you’re 50% more likely to book some action. And if any of that action sticks, some messaging, some dates… after a few weeks at that rate, you hit “critical mass” where you’re getting pinged all the time, dating a lot… and then your vibe takes off… and your results skyrocket.

    So… I am with you on a minimum. And we agree that if you are actually spamming, and throwing out meaningless approaches just to hit a number… that’s not going to get you anywhere.

    But if you’re having fun… 10/day. 20/day. Totally possible and (assuming you’re having fun) will crank your results up and double/triple how fast you can learn. Krauser used to do a lunch time round of hunting, take a break, and then do another round later. Could easily do 20+ or 30+ with that kind of plan. I recommend it… as long as it’s fun and you’re cool just being out, taking a walk, talking to girls.

    1. I get what you’re trying to say, but remember, it’s “an average of 5/day” so some days I might only get 3 approaches in because it’s raining, and then have a great day the next day and do 12 approaches. Also hard to approach a lot on days where you have dates, so that’s where it averages out. I’d usually try for 10 approaches.

  3. > I declared myself an intermediate daygamer (which I arbitrarily defined for myself as 1 close in 90 approaches regularly for 3 months in a row) which is a silly declarative award that’s entirely in my head. But I earned it by myself, from myself, for myself for getting real results that I am pleased with.

    And here… it was really cool to know you, and to watch you “make it across the river” as a daygamer. I remember your stories last Fall as you were punching through into “intermediate” confidence/competence and it was great to see. Look of good adventures and great experiences with girls in that time. Beautiful.

    > pile on and both tell me to quit with varying levels of politeness communicating that perhaps daygame wasn’t for me

    Interesting, right? Especially those two… as they know Krasuer and his story, that it took him over 1000 approaches to get his first daygame lay as he worked out the kinks in his game. It also took me over 1000. And both Krauser and I had had a lot of action before we found daygame.

    (Bodhi has always been a grey-cloud in this scene… not particularly skilled with woman and this gutter attitude, I have never read him for that reason. I like Jimmy, and I think he does have real Game, but I increasingly think a lot of his Game is pushing off against other guys to buoy himself up. I just finished Krauser’s Deplorable Cad and neither of these two come out looking particularly glorious in that book… I’m glad that didn’t have much influence on you).

    What if you had quit?? I have seen some “hard cases” (this guy StreetCobra comes to mind) but you were never one of them… and you punched through. And now you have skills that are yours to keep for life.

    I love it.

    I am excited to see what you do with this skill set now that you have it all buckled down. Looking forward to more stories from Runner.

    Viva Daygame.

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